Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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