I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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