It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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