nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
