just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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