somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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