you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
