Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
