she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
