You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
