I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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