2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have fence marks all over my body
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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