how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
