Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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