she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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