Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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