YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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