I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
