I'm eating all of the evidence.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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