She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
