we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize