??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish i was in the wii world.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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