i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
