How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
