Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
