I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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