Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize