That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
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Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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