What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
