Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
