we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
