This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
