You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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