i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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