Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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