dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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