There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize