After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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