I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
