It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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