Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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