My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
