so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Randomize
