My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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