So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
