he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
