Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
