We're facebook friends in real life
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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