So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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