The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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