Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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