trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
