you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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