stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
