The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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