Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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