Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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