I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
that is very illegal...i love you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
