Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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