I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
